A while ago, I read two really poignant posts from Pam England (Birthing from Within) regarding how we tell our children's birth stories CLICKY and how we should try and tell our children their birth stories in a way that is magical and far-removed from the medical aspects surrounding it CLICKY
It got me thinking that I should really try and write the births of my three children in such a way that they can tell their own children. 3 stories completely removed of any of MY trauma. 3 stories that are fuelled by the magic and wonder of their (my babies) existance. 3 stories that I can tell them that won't fill little Cushla's head with the idea that birth is to be feared xxx I am going to write them as if I am telling the kids their own stories :) Charlie knows everything about how he was born - he is a truly amazing boy and I am so very proud of him - I've written his story though as if i was telling him for the first time as a little boy....Henry and Cushla don't know their birth stories yet though... so this exercise is largely for them :)
Charlie's Magical Birth Story
You were born on a warm summer's evening just after the summer solstice of 1998. I wasn't awake when you were born but my midwife told me that you had a big old shout and wee'd all over the theatre staff and that had been a good sign that you were fighting fit and healthy albeit a teeny tiny 4 pound 3 ounces :) I was sure that you would have a mass of curly hair when you were born and I kept asking everyone "Does he have curly hair?" I was quite poorly and you had been taken to a special ward where little babies go when their Mummy's are poorly, so the first time I saw you it was on a photograph. You were so perfect and I couldn't wait to meet you properly. A while later I was a little bit better, so a midwife went to get you from the special ward. You were wearing a little tiny hat and a cardigan over the tiniest little babygrow and vest. I really wanted to take all your clothes off and snuggle him but the midwife said you would get too cold, she helped me to take off your little booties and mittens though and helped me to snuggle you into my boobs for a short while :) I remember holding you and cuddling you and touching your tiny perfect fingers and toes and kissing your tiny little head :) For the first few days of your life, you looked like a tiny little old man. Your eyes were very wise and I used to spend long amounts of time just gazing into them. You also had very baggy knees and no bum cheeks!! When you did your first poo it was a huge poo for such a little man. Your Dad kept pulling wipes out of the pack and the poo kept coming. Nana knitted special tiny little cardigans and hats and booties and mittens for you and went and got gorgeous little outfits for you to wear when you came home from hospital :) When we had first seen you on a scan when I was about 8 weeks pregnant, your little heartbeat had looked like a twinkling star and that was my name for you all through my pregnancy...your first tiny clothes had little stars embroidered on them - you might be a strapping lad now but you are still my little star xxxxxx
Henry's Magical Birth Story
You were born on a sunny late autumn morning in November 2008. The day before I had been to visit Avebury stone circle and had sat on the Goddess stone for a long time enjoying how calm I felt. I got home and had some tea with Daddy and Charlie and stood up to take my plate out to the kitchen and heard/felt a big pop and realised that the watery sack you were snuggled up inside in my tummy had popped all on it's own and you were ready to be born :) I was soooo excited as I was 41 weeks and 4 days pregnant and couldn't wait to meet you :) Tightenings started about half an hour later but because we could see that you had done a poo inside me, we went straight to the birthing centre to see the midwives and they decided that we should go to the big hospital as I was dehydrated and you needed me to be on top form.
We went for a ride in an ambulance which was very exciting. I was having lots of tightenings and was enjoying breathing through them and doing lots of Reiki on myself. My midwife kept asking me if i was ok because I was very quiet but I was only quiet because I was so enjoying the tightenings and was enjoying using light energy to work with them :) The hospital was quite loud and buzy but eventually we were given our own room quite late that night. Daddy and I shared a sandwich and Nanna went and found a comfy sofa and we all settled down for the night. Well they did but I couldn't sit still at all because you were on your way :)
I asked for a birthing ball and sat bouncing at the end of the bed, resting my head on the mattress but dancing you down and down whilst on the ball. All the time I was doing Reiki on myself and then everything got really intense and I knew I needed more heat in my back :) I asked the midwife if I could have a bath and she ran a bath that was barely warm so after she left I put loads of hot water in and entered my safe birthing space. Henry, you and I worked so well in that lovely warm water my darling boy. The pain that I had all melted away and yet the tightenings felt more productive and in my head we were away with the birthing fairies and it was just lovely. I shall treasure those precious hours for ever and ever Henry because you gave me such a precious gift and we enjoyed it together :)
Soon it was morning and we all decided that it was best for you to be born sooner rather than later, so off we went to the birthing room and in no time at all I saw you being born and then in the blink of an eye you were all snuggled up in daddy's arms until Mummy could hold you a little while after that :)
You were such a superstar and fed so brilliantly and because you did that it healed something else that was very broken inside my heart Henry. So not once but twice did you mend mummy's very broken heart and that is why, my precious scorpio sunshine boy, you have Rohan as your middle name...It is sanskrit for healing and ascencion and that is precisely what you did Henry Boo :) you brought the sunshine back, you mended a broken heart and you gave me such a gift you will never really understand how much my love, you gave me tightenings that hurt in a way that was utterly blissful and you paved the way for your little sister to come into our world without Mummy being scared anymore. I am sorry I was so scared when you were in my tummy Henry and I am sorry that I didn't find my tiger and roar louder when we were in our bubble in the bath baby boy... I found my tiger when Cushla was born but you made my heart light again xxxxxx
Giving Birth to Cushla: as in giving the sacred essence of birth to my daughter as she came earthside, maintaining that precious gift of birth without fear to my daughter for the rest of my days on this planet, protecting her and nurturing her... when "giving birth" became such a profoundly intricate and precious and lifelong commitment..the moment i became truly concious of the depth of birth and realised it was nothing to do with my vagina.... From Mother to Daughter ... nurturing wisdom XxxxX
Well of course you were going to be born on the 8th of March my love. Of course you weren't going to share a birthday with Nanna or Cousin Jack, of course you were going to be a Pisces and of course you weren't ever remotley going to be born in February like they said... although you did try my sweet, you did try :)
At 37 weeks I started what they call Prodromal labour. It started with little rushes around lunchtime and by 9pm that evening I was having to breathe between the tightenings which were coming 3 minutes apart. Auntie Clair came over and we went up to the Birthing Centre and they recorded contractions on the monitors and told us to go home and it might be a while yet but you were on your way.... hah! :) oh no no no you sooooo was going to be a Pisces that 5 weeks later, the prodromal labour had settled into a predictable fashion and each and every day of those 5 weeks we spent on tenter hooks wondering if today would be the day :)
I was 42 weeks and 2 days pregnant on the day you were born :) All my bump with you was on the front but even then I still managed to fit behind the wheel of the car and I drove to hospital that morning hoping that my cervix might have been ripe enough to encourage us into labour but knowing that you were going to be born that day regardless. The sun was shining bright - it was such a beautiful day the day you were born :)
Of course you wanted to be born the exact same way your brothers had come... of course, my beautiful little shmoo :)
We had an amazing team of birthers around us when you came earthside. Daddy was right there, Auntie Clair outside pacing the corridor and wearing tracks in the floor, Bob the anaesthetist and the lovely registrar who had birthed Henry. It was like meeting old friends all over again and everyone was there to welcome you into the world in the most gentlest and special and loving way we all could :) and we did my angel, we did :) When you were born they lifted you high so I could see you and then in almost an instant you were laid right on my skin for a snuggle and kiss. Daddy had to hold you then because Mummy was buzy trying to stay awake
Mummy became a fierce warrior that day sweetheart. Mummy went to depths of herself that I didn't know existed and I positively roared at the people who wanted to take you from between my breasts and put you inside a plastic incubator. Roared and Auntie Clair snarled too :) The day you were born was filled with sunshine Cushla :) The way you were born was as peaceful and as loving as we could manage my sweet sweet baby girl and one day, when you birth your babies, the sun will shine too.
Cushla, the very reason I do everything that I do, you truly are the beat of my heart, the driving fire behind my healing, the empowerment that transformed damaged into birth warrior. There was no emergency, no what ifs and maybe's. The day you were born was filled with empowerment and clarity and Mummy's heart found a peace with itself that had never been there before xxxxxx
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